Petshop Drabbles
by Lady of the Thread
Summary: A collection of PSOH drabbles that I've written over the past few years. Mainly set during the original series with a few after vol. 10 or in Tokyo. Mostly humorous with a few more serious ones. Featuring Count D, Leon, Chris, T-Chan, Pon-Chan, Taizu.
1. Suspicious Silk

**Author's Note:** This is a collection of Petshop of Horrors drabbles that I've written since 2006, mostly in response to prompts posted in the psohdrabble LJ community. Except for 3 and 7, all drabbles are exactly 100 words. This first one was for Challenge #135, Silk.

...

Leon watched suspiciously as D quickly ushered a nattily dressed man with a large briefcase into the petshop and placed a "closed" sign on the door. Readying his handcuffs, the detective approached, intent on making an arrest.

He burst into the shop and found the two huddled on the sofa, whispering conspiratorially over the case's contents. "Finally caught you, D! Both of you are coming downtown."

The briefcase crashed to the floor, swatches of silk cascaded across the rug and D glared at the reddening policeman. "For what reason, detective? My tailor and I were simply planning my spring wardrobe!"


	2. Saccharine

**Author's Note:** Response to LJ psohdrabble community Challenge #172, Poisoned Apple.

...

The Count's eyes widened as he bit into the apple croissant and realized something was very wrong. He shoved the plate away with a shudder and made choked noises as he forced himself to swallow the bite of pastry. Snatching up his teacup, he drained the contents.

"You okay, Count?" asked Leon, worried. He'd never seen D react this way to treats from a new bakery before. "It wasn't that bad, was it?"

D glared. "Not that bad? Detective, are you trying to poison me?" He jabbed a painted nail at the offending pastry. "This was made with sugar substitutes!"


	3. A NotSoDivine Comedy

**Author's Note:** Response to LJ psohdrabble community Challenge #174, Purgatory.

…

Leon fumed. He'd missed D by a day! One day! And the gondolas floating by didn't help since they just reminded him of being pushed off the Count's flying boat.

He turned from the canal with a scowl and found himself faced with a bookshop window. He didn't understand most of the Italian titles but Leon recognized a trio grouped together; he'd had to read them in a college class he'd barely passed.

The Divine Comedy, although he never got what was so funny about it. Some guy named Dante going through hell and purgatory to see his dead girlfriend in heaven. "Damn it! If that guy can do it, so can Leon Orcot!" _Not that I even remotely think of D as a dead girlfriend…_

"I'll show the Count I'm worthy of being on his ship." He clenched his fists, determined, as he headed for the airport. "But if D starts quoting poetry at me, I'll wring his neck!"


	4. Mooncake Messages

**Author's Note:** Response to LJ psohdrabble community Challenge #180, War. The week this challenge was running also coincided with the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival (the occasion being celebrated in the "Flowers, the Detective, and the Detective's Little Brother" side story from volume 8).

…

Suspicious, Leon poked the wedge of light brown paste enveloped in a thin crust. "Count, what weird stuff are you trying to feed me now?"

D sniffed. "That is not 'weird stuff.' It's lotus seed mooncake, detective. They're traditional for the Mid-Autumn Festival. Folklore says they helped overthrow a dynasty by carrying hidden messages."

"War with cakes? You don't call that weird?" Leon rolled his eyes but took a bite of the pastry anyway. "What the—" He plucked a piece of paper from between his teeth, opened it.

D smiled cheerfully. "A note from Chris. He liked the story."


	5. A Day at the Museum

**Author's Note:** Response to LJ psohdrabble community Challenge #181, Harmony. My brain made some odd leaps and what came to mind was the musical "Sunday in the Park with George" about George Seurat's creation of the famous painting "A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte." In the show, "harmony" was among the words that Seurat would often mutter as he worked. The actual painting is in a Chicago museum but for the purpose of the drabble, I pretended that the characters were seeing it somehow.

…

Leon was bored. Why did the Count have to drag him to the museum, too?

"This is a famous example of pointillism," D told Chris as they admired a large canvas, people and animals in a park. "This style of painting uses specks of color which the eye blends to form other colors."

_Cool!_ Chris looked closer, trying to see the individual spots.

Leon squinted at the picture. "I don't see what's so great about a bunch of dots, Count. I've seen grainy photos better than this."

"Hmph." D turned away disdainfully, moving to the next exhibit with Chris. "Philistine!"


	6. Sewing Lessons

**Author's Note:** Response to LJ psohdrabble community Challenge #183, Needle and Thread.

…

Leon walked into the shop and exploded. "Count, what the hell are you doing with my brother?"

D tucked his needle into the fabric and replied matter-of-factly, "I am teaching Chris how to mend clothes."

"He doesn't need to know useless sissy stuff like that!"

Chris looked awkwardly between the two. _Not another fight…_

Just then, T-Chan intervened. Leon cursed as he felt fangs sinking into his backside, heard the sound of denim ripping.

D hid an amused smile behind his fingertips. "As you were saying, detective…?"

Glaring, Leon whipped his jacket around his waist and retreated out the door.


	7. The Price of Silk

**Author's Note:** A second response to LJ psohdrabble community Challenge #183, Needle and Thread. D's visitor is based on the Goddess of Silk from Chinese legend. (Sometimes, she's also referred to as the Goddess of Silkworms.) According to folklore, she was an empress who discovered silk and taught others how to domesticate silkworms. One tale says that she discovered silk after a cocoon fell into her teacup and started to unravel.

…

It had been some time since Count D last received a visit from the Goddess of Silk yet the routine was familiar. They took their tea in a grove of mulberry trees, watching as caterpillars nibbled leaves. And after the traditional Chinese sweets, they strolled through the trees, observing the silk moths, both wild and domestic.

Returning to the tea table, D gasped when he realized a cocoon had fallen into his teacup. He quickly removed it but knew the insect inside had already perished. "Poor thing." He bowed his head and looked sadly at the damp cocoon.

The goddess spoke quietly. "Remember, the lovely silks we wear have a price. They cannot be made without the death of the silkworms." She gently took the remains from him, wrapping it in a cloth. "But this will not be a waste, Count. I shall spin this into thread and present you with an embroidered handkerchief upon my next visit."

"As you wish, your majesty." He knew she was right. Domesticated silkworms were killed to preserve the threads of the cocoons; had the creature lived to become a moth, it would have been blind and flightless, able only to lay eggs and die soon thereafter.

However, he couldn't help feeling a twinge of sorrow as the regal lady departed.


	8. Masquerade

**Author's Note:** Response to LJ psohdrabble community Challenge #185, Kaleidoscope. This challenge was from late October 2007, which was why I also worked in a Halloween theme. The other people at the party are supposed to be random pets. I assumed that D used his magic so that they'd appear human to Leon for the occasion.

…

Leon growled. D certainly had weird ideas about Halloween parties.

He'd been stuffed into a dog suit by Chris and some accomplices. And now, masked figures in fanciful cheongsams swirled around him like a kaleidoscope, wordlessly challenging him. He grabbed one trailing floral vines. "You're D!"

The mask fell away with a feminine giggle.

"Then, it's you!"

Wrong again.

"You!"

No luck.

Leon ground his teeth and turned as an observer perched on the sofa laughed. Robed in blue with peacock feathers, the partygoer lowered his mask to reveal a familiar smirk. "Your observation skills clearly need work, Mr. Detective."


	9. Goodbye, Year of the Pig

**Author's Note:** Response to LJ psohdrabble community Challenge #199, Astrology. The week that this challenge ran coincided with Chinese New Year in 2008 and according to the Chinese zodiac, the Year of the Pig actually was ending at that time.

…

Riiiiip!

The sound tore Leon from the haze of a pleasant dream and quickly turned it into a nightmare. He opened his eyes to find D in his apartment, massacring his collection of scantily clad pinup girls with long blood red nails.

Furious, he jumped out of bed and stalked over to the Count, grabbing his silk robe. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Chinese New Year's cleaning." D pulled away from Leon's grasp and disdainfully disposed of the shredded posters in a garbage bag. He added with a smirk, "The Year of the Pig is ending, detective."


	10. Parisian Interlude

**Author's Note:** Response to LJ psohdrabble community Challenge #200, Randomness. The challenge for that week involved visiting Flickr's Interesting Photos from the Past 7 Days page and using one of the pictures for inspiration; one of the photos that I got was a picture of the Effiel Tower. It was also a double drabble week so I wrote a pair of linked drabbles.

…

D admired his new jacket in the shop mirror. It would go splendidly with his wardrobe yet wasn't quite like anything else he owned, bolero length with feathers at the neck and sleeves. The tailor had done marvelous work.

As a clerk wrapped the garment, D considered what to do next. Of course, he would have to visit another patisserie or two; Paris was known for pastries as well as fashion. But it wouldn't do to linger much longer after that close call in Berlin. He'd leave town that night. Perhaps, he'd visit Venice and see the winged lions next…

…

With the Eiffel Tower in the distance, Leon swore as he tried to read a map labeled completely in French. "How the hell do I get to Chinatown?"

He crumpled the paper, deciding to go by his gut instead and set off in what he thought was the right direction. "I'd better not end up at the zoo again!"

But the detective's instincts were off. If only he had glanced up the side street he'd just passed, he might have seen a certain Chinese shopkeeper exiting a fancy bakery with a pastry box and hurrying away in the opposite direction.


	11. Proper Grooming

**Author's Note:** Response to LJ psohdrabble community Challenge #212, Makeup. Inspired by how D often seems to be wearing pink eye makeup in color illustrations.

…

Leon rummaged through D's dressing table. What luck that he'd dropped in while the Count was out. He was sure to find something incriminating!

Bingo! An unlabeled pot of fuschia powder, undoubtedly something illegal.

Long-nailed fingers plucked the container from his hand. "Let me help you with that, Mr. Detective." D dipped a brush into the pot, a hint of mischief in his smirk. "It's good to see that you're finally taking an interest in proper grooming."

D leaned close with the brush and Leon fled in horror as he realized the powder matched the shade spread across D's eyelids.


	12. A Sweet Defense

**Author's Note:** Response to LJ psohdrabble community Challenge #237, Damage.

…

It was a predictable situation. As soon as Leon walked in the door, T-Chan flew at him with bared fangs.

What was not so predictable was Leon's reaction this time. Tired of being chomped on, he tossed the bakery box he was carrying at the totetsu, sending both to the floor.

A slightly dazed T-Chan retreated under an armchair and Leon retrieved the box as the sound of D's footsteps neared.

During tea, the totetsu skulked and glared at Leon; the detective triumphantly grinned back; and the Count wondered why the fruit tart had so many cracks and displaced berries.


	13. Hayride

**Author's Note:** Response to LJ psohdrabble community Challenge #238, Cartwheel. Around the time this challenge ran, I was reading a mystery novel set on a goat dairy farm so the prompt made me think more of wheels on a cart than acrobatics.

…

"I don't see why we had to bring the raccoon and goat along," Leon grumbled as the horse-drawn cart rolled past a pasture full of spotted cows. Nearby, Chris sat between T-Chan and Pon-Chan, engrossed in the rustic sights.

"Chris wanted them to come. Besides, isn't it nicer to see this with someone else?" D leaned closer with a smile, uncomfortably close for Leon's tastes.

Looking to change the subject, the detective pointed. "Hey, look, they have goats! We should leave that monster of yours here with them!"

Whack!

Leon spent the rest of the hayride alone in the back.


	14. Opening Night

**Author's Note:** Response to LJ psohdrabble community Challenge #239, Cage. Being a theatre fan, the prompt made me think of the musical "La Cage Aux Folles." I've only seen a little clip but from what I've read, it takes place in a nightclub with entertainment by drag queens. And considering some of the scenes in PSOH: Tokyo, it seemed like a suitable thing to tie into the challenge.

…

The chorus sang, twirled, and tap danced across the glittery stage. They sparkled in colorful costumes covered with ruffles, rhinestones, sequins, and feathers.

D enjoyed himself but the spectacle didn't impress Taizu. He sat through the show with a scowl. He scowled even more when the performers came to greet them afterwards, latching onto his arms and planting unwanted kisses on his cheeks.

D smiled as they left the club. "Did you enjoy it, Taizu? The ladies were so pleased you could come to their new show."

"No," growled Taizu, wiping away the lipstick smears. "And they're still all men!"


	15. Missing in MidAutumn

**Author's Note:** A non-challenge drabble written for the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival in 2010. (It's the holiday referred to in the "Flowers, the Detective, and the Detective's Little Brother" side story from Volume 8).

…

In a back room of the shop, the full moon rose above a garden full of autumn flowers, undimmed by the bright lights of Tokyo. D placed an offering of mooncakes on a small table amid the flowers while Pon-chan and T-chan added bunches of grapes to a tray that was already piled high with oranges. All of the shop's animals gathered to admire the full moon.

But something was missing. Something in the form of an ill-mannered blond detective and his little brother. Something D could never have again. He lit some incense and gazed sadly at the moon.


	16. Gone to the Dogs

**Author's Note:** Written for Chinese New Year 2011. Although my family has never celebrated it as such since we've never had a dog, I've read that the second day of the Chinese New Year (which is today, 2/4/11) is considered to be the birthday of all dogs. 100 words exactly.

…

Barks filled the air as canines of all breeds romped amid the Chinese New Year's flowers that decorated the petshop.

"Count, what's with all the dogs?" Leon sat down and was immediately surrounded.

"Today is the second day of the New Year," D explained as he groomed a Pomeranian. "The Chinese consider it the birthday of all dogs."

Leon helped himself to a cookie from a dainty china dish and made a face as he chewed. "Yuck, this tastes awful."

D replied dryly as he moved on to another dog. "Detective, you're eating the treats for the dogs' birthday party."


	17. A Foolish Gift

**Author's Note:** Written for April Fool's Day 2011. Exactly 100 words.

…

"Hey, Count, I brought you some candy." Leon offered an elegant box inscribed with the name of the most expensive confectionery in town.

D eagerly took it, anticipating decadent truffles artistically decorated and infused with exotic spices. "Ooh, detective, how nice—" Delight was quickly replaced with disdain as he opened the box to find not gourmet chocolates but commonplace mass-produced candy wrapped in cheap foil. There was a hint of danger in his tone. "Leon, what is the meaning of this?"

"April Fool!" Leon doubled over, laughing.

The Count whispered in T-Chan's ear.

Chomp!

"Ow!"

D smirked. "April Fool."


	18. Teatime

**Author's Notes:** I wrote this for arizonaicerose on LJ a while back to fulfill an offer I made in the LJ help_japan community and now that enough time has passed, I'm free to repost it on my own accounts. Her requested prompt was "enjoying the quiet 'normal' moments when they popped up." Exactly 300 words.

…

After a busy day, D closed the doors of the shop. There had been various deliveries in the morning followed by a flurry of customers in the afternoon. In between all of the activity he had tended to an ailing parrot, given fresh water to all the tropical fish, made a deal to acquire a winged horse, checked on the lioness that was set to give birth soon, ordered more dragon food, and refilled the shop's incense burners.

Now that things had quieted down, it was time for a well-deserved cup of tea and D disappeared behind a carved folding screen to the corner where he kept his tea things.

As the water boiled, he ran his manicured nails over a set of metal tea canisters, contemplating what to brew. The green tea his grandfather had sent from Japan or the peach-flavored white tea an appreciative customer had presented him? Or perhaps, the Darjeeling he had imported from India?

After a few moments consideration, D made his selection and measured the appropriate amount of leaves into a floral teapot. The scent of jasmine perfumed the air as the tea steeped, mingling with the aroma of ripe strawberries that the Count placed in a parfait dish as a treat for Q-Chan. He arranged an assortment of petit fours on a plate and added two delicate teacups with matching saucers to the lacquered tray.

D carried tea tray to the coffee table in the front room of the shop and settled on the antique sofa. He poured himself a cup of tea and savored the first sip of the amber liquid. But he looked forward more to what was to come. Despite the "closed" sign outside, the door opened just as he anticipated.

"Ah, my dear detective. Would you like some tea?"


End file.
